How to keep a tidy home with 2 small children?

This is a question I ask myself on a regular basis and Mr H when he is feeling brave!   
                               
                                  This is what happened whilst I tidied the kitchen!

     

I have to say with one child I found it easy, Little Mr wasn’t messy and we had half the junk we now seem to have amassed. However I feel with two children it is much harder to keep a tidy home. Therefore I thought it only fair for me to share some of the ways you too can keep a tidy home with young children.

1) Never wash clothes
This one is a buggy as doing this will cut down on the huge workload that follows freshly washed clothes. If I never wash clothes I will never have to dry them so will save time hanging clothes to dry and once again bringing them in. There will also be no folding and no ironing.
2) Never iron clothes
If you follow step one there will be no clothes to iron and you are well on your way to keeping a tidy home.
3) No Birthdays until you turn 18! 
No cards to display which inevitably clutter up a surface and the best part is no presents, so no toys to fill already overflowing storage boxes/selves/baskets or any other small space not currently overrun with stuff.
4) Use disposable plates and crockery
Paper and plastic and once dinner is over throw in the bin! This step also saves on loading and unloading the dishwasher.
5) Never dust
An occasional blow on surfaces where there is a buildup should do the trick or if you are desperate a quick once over with a baby wipe.
6) Banish children and husband to the shed
Now this stage is a winner and if achieved will save you the most time. If you better half and children can never enter beds will remain made, there will be no crushed biscuits, smeary windows or mirrors and sticky banisters. Socks will be in draws not under cushions, sofas or bed sheets.

7) NO pets
More poo, urine, grooming, hair, food the list goes on. A bad idea if you want a tidy home.
This list is by no means exhaustive and if you have your own methods please feel free to share your tips.
Here is my final thought on keeping a tidy home.